4 Things i wish i knew at 20 (Read before it's too late)

I recently turned 25 and it changed my perspective of life.

Every year on my birthday, I reflect on who I was in the past year and who I'm becoming. It's amazing how much I change as I age.

People including myself often start their lives with the thought:
“Get good grades and everything will work out perfectly.”

I searched for alternatives and tried IT as a TAFE course to get out of school, but soon realised I had just jumped from one school to another.

Eventually, the only compromise i could find is starting a carpentry apprenticeship. So at the end of year 11, i decided to drop out of school and start working.

During this period of life, one question was obnoxiously loud in my head…
“Is this all life really is?”

Surely, I don’t have to sacrifice 1/3 of my day, every day, from the ages of 17-65 to something i don’t enjoy doing.

Then i asked myself:
“Why do people get stuck in this loop for this many years?”

Children, Bills, Expenses, Consumerism, Little Financial Education, Peers, Environment and so much more.

I realised, if i got stuck in that spider web, with time it becomes exponentially harder to escape. So 19 year old me at the time had 2 options:

1. Find something I loved doing so much that it doesn’t feel like work.

2. Become Time, Location and Financially free to i don’t have to work.

Spoiler… I chose both.

Maybe I’m not the best person to tell you what matters in your 20s because i haven’t lived all of them yet. However, i swore to myself and the world that i will tell the un-sugarcoated truth. That’s also my promise to you.

I know the 20s can be unsettling at times. Some of your friends are earning twice what you are now, other friends are married and having kids, some have even found their purpose or are travelling the world.

In your eyes, everyones doing better than you.
But in reality thats far from the truth. (You aren’t the only one with shit.)
Here’s 2 usually unconscious options we have:

Option 1:

• Assume everyones doing better than you.

• Put yourself in the victim role.

• Put others on a pedestal.

• Endow them with a seemingly perfect life.

• Resent that perfect life.

Option 2:

• Assume they are struggling.

• Meet them with compassion and love

• Assume everyones fighting their own crazy battles.

• Give them enough space to express themselves without judgement.

One thing i have realised is everyone walks at a different pace.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Embrace it.

Success compounds like momentum.

Being successful is a damn grind. Like everything worth having in life.

While hiking, i was taught invaluable lessons over a very short period of time.

Specifically on the really beautiful trails, I realised i could walk twice as long without as much pain. It got me thinking: “If i could enjoy the journey, the destination is not only inevitable but i can enjoy the process as well.”

Stop a snowball from rolling down a hill midway and it will loose momentum, it will regain momentum again slowly over a similar gradient and distance.

I found in my own life, if i skip a day or even worse multiple, success slows down and i end up in the gutter… Lesson in there somewhere.

Once our survival needs are met, we are really chasing love and acceptance.

There is a freakish pressure with young people and hustle culture.

The result?

A whole generation or two feeling as though we aren’t enough, instead of meeting our self love needs we jump straight into chasing money because “Money will fix all our problems”

Instead what i have found to be true is:

1. Get your survival needs met.
   Eg, enough food, clean water, shelter, emotional needs etc.

2. Become grateful for what you have.

3. Go for “Home run success”

(Flipping 2 and 3 doesn’t work, trust me i have tried…)

Everyone wants life sorted instantly.
But specifically your 20s i learnt one crucial lesson:

You don’t do things for you, you do things for future you.
This is when we realise that decisions make our future and the power of delayed gratification.

As the graph above shows, we start with health and energy but lack wealth and freedom.

We can work around this by choosing to live a life of freedom early (before the system chooses for us) and start making good wealth building habits so we can “Have our cake and the freedom to eat it too”.

It is possible. I covered wealth building and freedom in The Psychology behind Vision, Purpose and Wealth.

Something many never come to terms with…
This is a tough topic for myself and many others.

Most people run from themselves because they are afraid to confront the deep traumas we all have. Traumas being something that need to be talked about and the energy released, otherwise they end up corrupting us for years.

I ran from myself for about a year if not much longer.
How can you run from yourself?
Distractions.

I was the distraction king.
Video games, junk food, constant stimulation of consuming content.

For many others, its drugs, alcohol, porn, impulsive eating, relationships and content consumption.

Heck, even seemingly “healthy” things like sport, working out or business.

It was only when i confronted my traumas, dug into them and really let out what i needed too was i able to recover myself and release them.

Maybe nothing matters in your twenties.
Maybe everything does.
Maybe you’ll never find the answers.
Maybe you’ve figured it all out already.

There is no universal way you to live your life but there is only one thing that never changes.

Know your value and know you’re enough.

In case no one has told you yet — you’re not supposed to have it all figured out. It’s okay if you’re taking time to pave your way.

Take this time to understand what you want from your life and live it without fearing any societal pressures. (I covered this in 7 shocking lies we tell ourselves)